Self Therapy

By Aarya Gupta

Recent years have seen self-therapy become much more of a talking point in international media.

The concept refers very broadly to the idea of treating one’s own emotional or psychological problems, without the help of a therapist. But what does it really mean?

We’ll look at the work of key psychotherapists who have shaped the development of the movement, as well as the huge range of different applications. Throughout, we’ll consider the ways in which self-therapy can comprise a significantly powerful tool in dealing with anxiety and depression, and how you can tap into what we already know about the idea to help yourself and others.

What is Self-Therapy?

Just like there is a wide range of different types of psychotherapy, self-therapy can have a lot of different definitions. Generally, the term refers to psychotherapy we can conduct, on ourselves, without the intervention or assistance of a therapist.

Let’s look at different terms that tend to get used interchangeably with ‘self-therapy’.

 

Self-Therapy, Self-Counseling, and Self-Help Therapy. Is it the Same thing?

Self-Therapy, Self-Help therapy and Self-Counselling do sound a lot like the same thing. And to be honest, different practitioners (and individuals) may choose to use the terms the same or different ways. If that sounds confusing, it’s because there are no strict rules around our chosen use of the different terms.

 

Self-Therapy vs Self-Counselling

According to The Counsellor’s Guide, self-counseling refers to the practice of:

“Examining one’s own behavior, using psychoanalytical methods of free-thinking and free association”. It can “help you take more effective control of everyday situations, and enable you to make continued progress”.

Self-counseling approaches can include applying techniques such as Glasser’s Reality Theory (RT), Gestalt Therapy, and Ellis’ Rational Emotive Therapy (RET), as well as tools like meditation, relaxation, and more (Makuch, 2014; Martin, 2014).

Merriam Webster defines self-therapy, on the other hand, as follows:

“Therapeutic treatment of oneself especially for the purpose of coping with one’s personal or emotional problems”.

While both involve introspection to some degree or another, therefore, the difference may lie essentially in what distinguishes therapy from counseling. WebMD sums this up quite nicely:

“Counseling is also usually more short-term than therapy. Psychotherapy is more long-term than counseling and focuses on a broader range of issues.”

 

Self-Therapy vs Self-Help Therapy

There is significant overlap between self-therapy and self-help therapy. That’s because both terms describe self-driven methods of treating psychological problems or growing our internal capabilities. ‘Self-help therapy’ implies that a specific problem is being addressed, though there’s no strict definition of it. ‘Self-therapy’ encompasses growing our capabilities, as we will see later when we discuss the Self-Therapy Journey.

Another thing you may notice is that ‘self-help therapy’ and ‘self-therapy’ are very often used to describe Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). It’s worth noting that while both can involve CBT to some degree or another, it’s more common in mainstream media to see CBT being linked more explicitly with the former (Anxiety Canada, 2018; NHS Inform, 2018).

In short, both are almost the same, and neither is linked exclusively to CBT. As we’ll see, self-therapy can be used to describe many different techniques. The Internal Family Systems (IFS) Model and the idea of the Inner Critic are two that we will also introduce in this article.

 

A Look at the Work of Jay Earley

Dr. Jay Earley, the founder of the website Self-Therapy Journey, is probably best known for his extensive work on Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy. As well as being an author and teacher, his work on the ‘Inner Critic’ concept is widely acknowledged and used in self-therapy.

In Earley’s own words, the ‘Inner Critic’ describes an internal part of ourselves that “judges you, demeans you, and pushes you to do things” (Earley, 2018). The Inner Critic features heavily in self-esteem issues, which commonly underpin anxiety, stress, and depression.

Earley and his wife Bonnie Weiss have identified seven types of ‘Inner Critic’:

1. Perfectionist;
2. Inner Controller;
3. Taskmaster;
4. Underminer;
5. Destroyer;
6. Guilt-Tripper; and
7. Molder.

If you’re interested in discovering your own Inner Critic(s), Earley and Weiss have developed a quiz that you can fill out at Self-Therapy Journey (STJ).

Earley’s work can also be seen in the Pattern System that forms the basis of the STJ online resource. This system helps to map the capabilities, behavior, inner parts, and dynamics of our psyche and can be helpful in allowing us to better understand the relationships we have with others and ourselves.

 

Bonnie Weiss and Her Work on Self-therapy

Bonnie Weiss, psychotherapist, teacher, author, and trainer has written various books on IFS in self-therapy. Notably, Weiss’ exercises are incredibly useful resources for guiding individuals and therapists through a step-by-step process of self-directed IFS.

These exercises provide a structured means of navigating through one’s own inner parts, communicating with them. Weiss’ extensive work covers themes such as blending and reblending with wounded parts, accessing The Self and developing our personal potential.

 

Can You do Self-Therapy and Does it Work?

Self-therapy is absolutely something that you can practice on your own to work on anxiety or depression; without needing to become accredited or attain a formal qualification. In fact, it can be an economical and more practical solution for less serious cases.

Therapists aren’t on call 24/7, and learning to do self-therapy can be a brilliant resource for those times when you or your client might experience strong feelings of anxiety or depression.

 

7 Tips on How Best to Do Self-Therapy

Because there are so many different ways of going about self-therapy – from CBT to Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT), IFS, and more, there are many different tips out there on how best to go about doing self-therapy. Here, we’ve isolated some of the key things that contribute to better results over the long term (Knaus, 2014; Therapist Aid, 2018; Weiss, 2018).

1. Start by thinking about what you’d like to achieve.

Are you hoping to learn techniques for managing anxiety? Looking to nip negative thoughts in the bud? Do you want to work on developing some positive current behaviors? There’s no ‘right’ answer. Clarifying your overarching goal will simply make your different objectives easier to understand.

2. Understand more about your problem or goal.

Knaus (2014) outlines how REBT involves separating your ‘problem’ into a practical part and an emotional or behavioral part. Weiss (2018) suggests learning more about the different ‘subpersonalities’ of your psyche that are causing you problems. CBT exercises recommend identifying your triggers and cognitive distortions.

All these have one thing in common. To work towards your goal, you need to develop your understanding of your problem. This article contains worksheets, questions, and links to resources that may be helpful starting points.

3. Study your feelings and/or behaviors more closely.

Take a closer look at how your problem is presenting. Are you hoping to deal with a behavioral problem, like avoidance or coping behaviors? Or are you wanting to target unwanted feelings, like social anxiety or stress?

Studying your behaviors or emotions at a more in-depth level can involve:

• Describing the feeling or behavior: what were you thinking, how intense was the feeling, and did you feel anything else?;
• Recalling times that you felt or acted a certain way. Try to take an objective approach to recount where you were, who was there, and alternative actions or feelings you might have experienced;
• Keeping a record of when and where these feelings or behaviors pop up. Are you able to discern any patterns? Are there certain situations that lead to the problem?

4. Identify and explore any associated self-talk, thoughts, or beliefs.

Very often, irrational or unhelpful cognitive mental processes are behind unwanted feelings and behaviors. Stress, anxiety, depression, and even relationship difficulties can often be addressed by identifying the negative self-talk or distortions that go on in our head.

Feel free to pick and mix any of the questions we’ve provided in the next sections to guide you through this step.

5. Challenge your irrational thoughts, internal dialogue, or beliefs.

We’ve also included a whole range of worksheets and resources to help you with this step. Regardless of which direction you choose to take your self-therapy, the goal is to feel more positive. We can do this much more effectively by addressing the root cause of the problem, which a lot of medications don’t do.

6. Replace your irrational thoughts or beliefs.

As an example, Sarah is given feedback on a work task by her boss. Instead of allowing herself to think negatively (e.g. “I’m not good enough”), she replaces this with a more objective, rational thought.

Instead, she thinks: “My boss sees my full potential, and I’m excited to grow and realize that potential”.

7. Practice, practice, and practice.

Every day, we face triggers and external events that we have no control over. As we practice, develop, and strengthen our rational and positive thought processes, we get better at managing our responses to them. Reward yourself with something you enjoy doing for keeping up the good work.